Making Mary in our own image!

 

December 21, 2025

The first reading and the Gospel reading of today are both used as two of the most important Scriptural texts to support the dogma of the perpetual virginity of Mary - a dogma that  was articulated in the Church after many centuries of debate. The Gospels of Mathew and Luke which are the only two Gospels in which we find reference to Jesus’ birth, clearly indicate support for the first part of this dogma, namely regarding the virgin birth of Jesus. However with regard to the second part, namely that Mary remained a virgin till death, there was much debate till the sixth century, as there are too many references in the New Testament that raise doubts about this.  These texts include Mathew 13:55-56, Galatians 1:19 and Acts 1:14, all of which speak of Jesus’ brother(s). In all of these texts the original Greek term used  for ‘brothers’  is adelphos, which in all other cases in the New Testament referred to biological brothers, like Peter and Andrew  (Matthew 4:18), and  James and John (Matthew 4:21). Additionally many argued that the very word that is  translated as 'virgin' from the original Greek 'parthenos', could also be rendered as 'young girl', in the same way as the word 'kumari' in  Hindi could be translated either way. Consequently, there was much debate on the matter but finally three of the most influential Latin Fathers of the Church, Ambrose, Jerome and Augustine's view that stressing Mary’s perpetual virginity would contribute to establishing the uniqueness of Jesus, prevailed.  Finally at the Fifth Ecumenical Council in Constantinople in 553 AD, the perpetual virginity of Mary was declared a dogma. Today, this is the official position of the Catholic Church and some other mainline Protestant Churches like the Lutheran Church.

Many other Christian groups do not accept this dogma that Mary remained a virgin after Jesus’ birth, but that is the position most Catholics hold on to - for we have been brought up on a catechism where the focus of this dogma has been waylaid into a focus on Mary’s biological virginity and we have come to believe that that virginity is what makes her unique.  Unfortunately, a comparative study would indicate that the idea of a virgin birth of a god/great person is not so  unique and is found in many other religions like Hinduism (Karna), as well as in ancient Greek (Perseus) and Egyptian (Horus) religio-mythical stories.

But our catechetical upbringing is not the only reason why many of us tend to stress the physical virginity of Mary.  There are at least two other reasons.  

First of all there is the underlying belief in many of us that a person who abstains from sexual activity is more holy than one who does not. This view is supported by Paul who teaches that it is ‘better for a man not to touch a woman’ (1 Cor 7:1)  even though later, in the same letter, he admits that ‘concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord’ (1 Cor 7:25). But then what about Jesus’ teaching that there are some who are ‘eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’, and that this is a gift not given to everyone, thereby implying that it is a special or superior kind of grace? To answer that one needs to ask whether Jesus was referring to virgins in this teaching about eunuchs ?  If one reads the concerned text carefully (Mathew 19:1-12) from the beginning to the end  it is clear that the entire context of this teaching is that Jesus is responding to the disciples’ question regarding divorce.  And so when the disciples say that it is better not to marry if one can never divorce one’s wife, Jesus responds not by agreeing that it is better not to marry, but by saying that those who marry but do NOT divorce their wives whatever the provocation are the ones who are ‘eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’. This ability to stay faithful and committed even to a ‘straying’ spouse, and refusing to divorce the other, indeed requires a special kind of grace. So Jesus was not giving a teaching about the superiority of virginity, but of the 'specialness' of absolute faithfulness in marriage. In fact Paul's earlier referred to acknowledgement that he had received no teaching from the Lord regarding virgins only confirms this interpretation for one can be sure that if this Mathean teaching was indeed with regard to virgins,  Paul would have grabbed it

But secondly, and more importantly, perhaps, there is a sociological reason why we tend to stress the physical virginity of Mary. As various writers have pointed out, human society has tended to equate a woman’s worth based on five different qualities:  Virginity, Motherhood, Domesticity, Submissiveness, and Beauty.  Since virginity and motherhood cannot go together in ordinary mortals, a woman who embodies both, together with domesticity, submissiveness and beauty, would of course be the ideal woman, the perfect woman. So Mary is both virgin and mother, and has been traditionally portrayed (till feminist theologians started questioning it) as one who remained within the confines of her family life and remained obedient to God. And of course, even though we don’t know how she really looked, and for all we know she could have been quite plain looking or even not  good looking at all, we have made sure that all the paintings of Mary are of a beautiful woman.  

All this reminds me of the adage that  ‘God made man in his image, and man returned the favour'. For Mary’s virginity is a perfect example of this eagerness to create an ideal woman, one fit to be the Mother of God, that perfectly synchronizes with our own sociological and religious idea of perfection. This is clearly reflected in many of our Catholic hymns (e.g. Hail Holy Queen, Sing of Mary, pure and lowly, etc), where Mary’s virginity, her motherhood, her submissiveness and obedience to God, her humility, and such qualities that society expects of the ‘good woman’ are exalted. 

Perhaps, then, it would be helpful for us to remember that all dogmas, including the Marian dogmas, are really meant to be theological articulations of our human experience of God, and about God’s  intervention in our lives, and in this case in Mary’s life. They offer us theological lessons that are meant to take us closer to God.  They are not meant to be lessons in science or biology.  The Marian dogmas are meant to help us see the unique role that both Mary and Jesus played in bringing about our salvation, and we do not need to unnecessarily debate their biological implications. 

First Reading: Isaiah 7:10-14

Again the Lord spoke to Ahaz, saying,  “Ask a sign of the Lord your God; let it be deep as Sheol or high as heaven.”  But Ahaz said, “I will not ask, and I will not put the Lord to the test.”  Then Isaiah said, “Hear then, O house of David! Is it too little for you to weary mortals that you weary my God also?  Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Look, the virgin is with child and shall bear a son and shall name him Immanuel”.

Second Reading: Romans 1:1-7

Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God,  which he promised beforehand through his prophets in the holy scriptures,  the gospel concerning his Son, who was descended from David according to the flesh  and was declared to be Son of God with power according to the spirit of holiness by resurrection from the dead, Jesus Christ our Lord,  through whom we have received grace and apostleship to bring about the obedience of faith among all the gentiles for the sake of his name,  including you who are called to belong to Jesus Christ,

To all God’s beloved in Rome, who are called to be saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Gospel: Mathew 1:18-24

Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be pregnant from the Holy Spirit.  Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to divorce her quietly.  But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.  She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.”  All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet,:

“Look, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel,” which means, “God is with us.”  When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife